Thursday, May 14, 2009

My honest crap

Hear ye, hear ye oh wunnerfull blogren, that it has been agreed upon by all of you *I insist* represented by the lovelies Val, PinkM, Ourkid, Keikei and The blogger formerly known as Nzembi, that a scrap award for honesty shall be bestowed upon me (Cue thunderous applause here!)

(The dramatic tearful acceptance) *Bow, curtsey, bob and blow kisses* "Awww, you can stop clapping now, really... Shucks, I know it comes as no suprise because any trophy made of scrap metal rightfully belongs to me, but I'm quite touched ;-D

There were rules somewhere but I'll make like a matatu driver with traffic laws and forget that they ever existed.

Drums, check. Bass, check. Strings, check. Groove and funk, Check. Let's proceed shall we....

1. Floetry - Floetic

If only I was poetic! You see I fancy myself a wee bit of a poet, but it recently came to my attention that I'm as poetic as George Bush is intellectual (No pun not intended!) But it wasn't suprising really, seeing how at one point or another in my life I thought I was musical or artistic or even prophetic depending on how the wind blew. I even considered myself somwhat of a Sumo wrestler until I realised that the swallowed thongs and the flabby bellies really do not do justice to my skin tone :-D

3. Beyonce - If I were a boy

I'd mic check my dongle (yes PinkM I said dongle! Hehe) Make sure the portable wi-fi was in proper working order, then proceed to find THIS idiot and reciprocate the golden favour!!

4. D'angelo - Shit, damn, motherfucker

Okay, this one might be a wee bit TMI: Apparently I can't take a dump in a foreign environment. I shit you not! When I'm travelling for long I can sub-consciously constipate myself for up to two weeks until I get back home to my throne room, unless it's incase of an emergency, in that case.....

6. Raul midon - State of mind

After watching the matrix trilogy I figured that everything in life is a state of mind. Since then I've been trying to bend spoons with my mind and I've been waiting for a call or for someone to come up to me and ask me whether I want the red pill or the blue one. Neither has happened yet, but soon....So if perchance any of you see me staring at a spoon suspiciously.....

7. Bob Marley feat Erykah Badu - No more trouble

Of late I'm becoming quite the passive aggressive. Which is really messed up coz I get irrate easily, but I'm bottling it all up inside. I'm just afraid I might take it all out on some poor sod who steps on my foot accidentally one fateful morning. If that poor sod happens to be any of you I apologize in advance!

9. Common - Soulfood

I am picky eater. A reeeeeeally picky eater, like a five year old or a pregnant lady. I don't eat chilly, AT ALL!! (Not red ones or green ones or yellow ones or blue ones or curry or anything that can be considered remotely hot and spicy!!) I don't like experimenting with fancy stuff and I stay away from anything that is neon coloured. I don't like chocolate (Unless it's raffaelo's) or ice-cream (Unless it's peppemint with choc-chips) I go through phrases when I only want to eat a particular food like noodles or pies, depending on my mood. And I eat ice-cubes. Abnormally so. At least 2-3 trays a day without fail. I can wake up in the morning and have ice-cubes and milk and crunch away at it as if it's a cereal!

10. Brian Mcknight - Back at one

Calculus is not my forte so I'll assume I've reached ten.

Thankyou all for being such a lovely audience. *Mwaaah, mwaaah, mwaaah, and mwaaah to you too!!* (Cue exit track and curtain drop...)

Oh wait! (Running back to stage) I'd forgotten....

Role call: (The following bloggers please report to tag square at once!)

JustDes: You're not getting away that easily, chap chap, my latte is getting cold :-D
Tbaby: Blogging about kamasutra on your third post, tsk tsk!!
Smothyz: I know you're insane!! Really, an absolute nutter. But poetic too!

Errryone who's not done it yet!!


Crystal balls said...

at number 3, hehehe, me too :)

Crystal balls said...

Okay i made a comment...where'd it go? Anyway, #3? me too :)

Crystal balls said...

Ooops...i meant to say #4, me too. Can I just delete the two other typocomms real quick? You don't mind, do you hun?

SG said...

Find a tin, yes, a tin do the necessary then pour the hot stuff on him when he just about to take the stairs.

And you cheated.

Mo said...

2 - 3 trays of icecubes? Strong teeth, Loco, strong teeth.

I'm with you on #4. I also can't do it in an even remotely noisy place which is why I prefer to 'go' at night. Plus doing 'it' in someone's home just feels rude for some reason. LOL, only on the internet can people discuss this in an offhand manner.

Bomseh said...

We are soo together on number 2, I guess that's why it is invisible.

pink m said...

You have a dongle now hun? :)

lol at number 4.

Halafu, allow me to play accountant. These are not 10, you have cheated. You and @our kid are so getting re tagged by me.

KK said...

wait... swallowed thong? And ati namba 2 is where?

eizzy.k said...

firstly can i say your music taste is awesome, much like mine!

1 - LoL, you know in some cases, lots of practice can make up for talent!

4- 2 weeks?! damn! once u feverishly clean the seat like a million times and cover it with TP and half seat ensuring minimum surface area comes into contact with your skin, it aint too bad!

Loco said...

@CB: Haha, you can chuck 'em but I like how it makes it look like I've got tons of comments :-)

@SG: I'd do that but it'd not be as much fun as the real deal, would it?! And I din't cheat, I made an honest mathematical error (Insert cute innocent face here!)

@Mo: Hehe, yeah, I never knew so many people had issues with doing a #2 like that!

@Bomseh: LOL!! That one was just between the two of us :-)

@PinkM: Hahaha, I wiull not declare my dongle status here!! LOL! *Sigh* I guess this means I'm getting audited, si?!

@KK: Yep, you know the huge cotton ones worn by sumo wrestlers, bloody uncomfortable sports wear in my opinion!

@Eizzy K: Awww shux, thankyou, and welcome to mine :-) Hehe, I tried, doesn't work, my mind keeps my bowels on lockdown!

Mama said...

Hehehehe! I know about 4, I think that's common.

Who is this Tbaby? I was running to read Kamasutra on the third day! You didn't create you cheated!

Anonymous said...

tbaby reporting: Common - Soulfood
babygal come to my house more often will cook you a good meal...peaky eater you not become after w week of my paradise...smiles

Sibbie said...

Lol! You nuts but I like yo music. Halafu you cheated!

savvy said...

#4 Me too!

Peter (Walkabout) Njenga said...

#3 "The angle of the dangle is equal to the cubic of the pubic." -(100 Girls)
#4 "Hey Shitbreak!" -Steve Stiffler (American Pie)
#6 "Don't try to bend the spoon, it's impossible." -(The Matrix)

Nice post Loco!

Anonymous said...


lol said...

自助洗衣 洗衣店 投幣式洗衣機 洗衣設備 加盟創業 廠房 工廠 農地 土地買賣 農地買賣 廠房出租 廠房出售 工業用地 廠辦 租廠房 五金百貨大賣場 五金工具 電動工具 吸塵器 diy 營造公司 豪宅設計 別墅設計 建築設計 舊屋翻新 農舍 住宅設計 綠建築 蓋房子 自地自建 品牌行銷 CIS 設計公司 廣告設計 平面設計 桃園當鋪15 北區當鋪 新娘秘書 月子餐 滷味 月子餐外送 月子餐食譜 結婚金飾 鑽石婚戒 塑膠袋 塑膠袋批發 塑膠袋工廠 塑膠袋 塑膠袋批發 飛梭雷射 幼兒美語 兒童美語 桃園托兒所 桃園安親班 桃園幼稚園

lol said...

眼科 眼睛雷射 無刀雷射 雷射近視 台北辦公室 安泰登峰 商用不動產 廠辦 外遇 徵信 徵信社 桃園房屋仲介 桃園房屋買賣 104人力銀行 104求職人力銀行 1111求職人力銀行 找工作 求職 中古車 led招牌 招牌 招牌製作 法拍屋 油漆工 油漆工程 油漆粉刷 桃園土地 桃園房屋 桃園房屋仲介 桃園房屋買賣 桃園房屋網 桃園房屋 桃園房屋仲介 ISO9001認證 射出成形 無塵室射出 塑膠製成品 1塑膠模具設計 精密射出 模具開發 膠框 導光板 縫衣機塑件 外遇 徵信 展場設計 展覽設計 會場設計 104法拍網 大台北法拍屋 台北法拍屋 房屋仲介 房屋買賣 板橋法拍屋 法拍 法拍屋 法拍屋查詢系統 信義房屋 婦產科診所 印刷 上海旅遊

lol said...

辦公室 辦公室出租 律師 seo 關鍵字 關鍵字行銷 關鍵字 關鍵字行銷 汽車美容 food processing mixers frying machine patty machine vegetable machine 工廠風水 命理風水 居家風水 風水 風水地理 風水擺設 勘輿 陽宅 陽宅風水 辦公室風水 印刷服務 近視 眼科 泰國 近視雷射 眼科 印度 西班牙 京都 東京 法國 美國 英國 埃及 義大利 2歐洲 casino gaming machine gaming machine manufacturer slot game machine slot machine cabinet slot machine manufacturer 婚紗照 婚紗攝影 婚禮 結婚 禮服 seo

lol said...

104求職人力銀行 104人力銀行 104求職人力銀行 1111人力銀行 31111人力銀行求職 統一發票9 10月 中古車 中古車買賣 台北人力銀行 特色餐廳 景觀餐廳 親子餐廳 黃金價格查詢 金價查詢 黃金 黃金買賣 黃金價格查詢 今日金價 金價查詢 金價 黃金價格 google關鍵字廣告 網路行銷 關鍵字 關鍵字行銷 關鍵字廣告 壁癌 十分瀑布 台北民宿 台北旅遊網 平溪 花園餐廳 景觀餐廳 渡假村 螢火蟲 薰衣草花園 鐵道之旅 房屋貸款 信用貸款 貸款 外遇 徵信 徵信社 搬家公司 台北搬家公司 seo seo seo 網路行銷 網路行銷 線上客服 環保袋 sum中古車 中古車 中古車買賣 金價 二手車

lol said...

桃園房屋買賣 桃園房屋買賣 桃園房屋仲介 3D飛梭雷射 光纖美白除毛 4肉毒桿菌除皺 淨膚雷射 微晶瓷 網站設計 班服 團體服創意 T恤 T恤 團體服 POLO衫 圍裙 熱水器 三久 三久太陽能 太陽能 太陽能熱水器 三久 三久 三久太陽能 三久太陽能 太陽能 太陽能 太陽能熱水器 太陽能熱水器 省電熱水器 節能減碳 電熱水器 熱水器 衛浴設備 櫻花牌熱水器 包子 四神湯 宅配美食 肉粽 宜蘭民宿 埋線 針灸減肥 黃體不足 內分泌失調 團體服 團體服 肉毒桿菌 肉毒桿菌 禿頭 玻尿酸 美白 減肥 痘疤 雷射溶脂 雷射溶脂 電波拉皮 電波拉皮 皺紋

lol said...

健身中心 健身房 健身 Spa會館 美容spa 電波拉皮 飛梭雷射 淨膚雷射 植髮 微晶瓷 5雷射溶脂 雷射溶脂 醫學美容診所 外遇 徵信 徵信社 Biodegradable plastic Disposable plastic cups Disposable plastic cups Disposable products ECO products PLA Plastic Drinking Cups polylactic acid 包通 馬桶不通 清水溝 通水管 通馬桶 水管不通 包通 抽水肥 洗水塔 馬桶 馬桶不通 清水溝 通水管 通馬桶 抽化糞池 木工裝潢 居家裝潢 房屋裝潢室內裝潢 > 室內裝潢設計 裝潢 裝潢工程 裝潢施工 裝潢設計 舊屋翻新 室內設計 室內設計公司 室內裝潢設計 裝潢設計 水餃

麥大熊 said...

房屋 廠房
工廠 農地
土地買賣 農地買賣
廠房出租 廠房出售
工業用地 廠辦
營造公司 豪宅設計
別墅設計 建築設計
舊屋翻新 農舍
住宅設計 綠建築
蓋房子 自地自建
房屋自售 屋主自售
信義房屋 租廠房
永慶房屋 太平洋房屋
中信房屋 東森房屋
住商不動產 21世紀不動產
台灣房屋 大台北房屋
台北縣房屋 台北市房屋
桃園縣房屋 基隆市房屋
宜蘭縣房屋 新竹縣房屋
新竹市房屋 苗栗縣房屋
台中市房屋 台中縣房屋
彰化縣房屋 南投縣房屋
嘉義市房屋 嘉義縣房屋
雲林縣房屋 台南市房屋
台南縣房屋 高雄市房屋
高雄縣房屋 澎湖縣房屋
屏東縣房屋 台東縣房屋
花蓮縣房屋 金門縣房屋

麥大熊 said...


麥大熊 said...

房屋經紀人 優質房屋經紀人
房屋 房屋
房屋 房屋
房屋 房屋
房屋 房屋
房屋 房屋
房屋 房屋
房屋 房屋
房屋 房屋
房屋 房屋
房屋 房屋
女生生日禮物 禮品贈品 禮品 生日送禮 個性商品 企業贈品 男友禮物 禮品網 女朋友生日禮物 小禮物 中秋節禮盒 公關禮品 年節禮品 尾牙贈品 找禮物 男生情人節禮物 男朋友禮物 生日蛋糕 生日快樂祝賀詞 生日卡片 生日賀卡 壽星的生日快樂 生日快樂賀詞 生日快樂歌 生日優惠餐廳 生日花束

麥大熊 said...

租屋網 591租屋網 台灣租屋網 城市租屋族 591租屋 台中租屋 高雄租屋 台南租屋 租屋子 租屋族 新竹租屋 中壢租屋 591租屋族 台灣租屋 591租屋族網 竹北租屋 高雄租屋網 桃園租屋 永慶租屋 城市租屋 台中租屋網 城市租屋網 中時租屋 台中租屋族網 花蓮租屋 高雄租屋族網 永慶租屋網 嘉義租屋 台南租屋網 中時租屋網 台中 租屋 屏東租屋 板橋租屋 台北租屋網 租屋王 台中市租屋 台東租屋 台北租屋族 519租屋網 高雄 租屋 彰化租屋 林媽媽租屋網 宜蘭租屋 台南 租屋 鯨魚租屋 高雄市租屋 新竹租屋 租屋591 學生租屋 免費租屋網 台南市租屋 新竹租屋網 基隆租屋 新莊租屋 崔媽媽租屋網