Friday, October 26, 2007

Of Bullshit packaged in the colours of the rainbow

I am not one to blog about politics. Don’t get me wrong, I have quite a few political opinions of my own but I’ve never been inclined to share them with anyone. But I read something in the newspapers today that makes me believe that Kenyan politicians have taken it to a whole other level. And it sickens me. Apparently the honorable (And I use this word cynically) Lang’ata MP is pledging to make Kenya the first country in Africa to host the Olympics. What a bunch of utterly senseless and sickening hogwash!! (and that ain’t sugar coating how I feel about it, that’s dipping it in chocolate, covering it with vanilla and adding pink panther sprinkles on top!) Is it that Kenya run out of roads to be repaired or hospitals to be furbished or schools and wells and other crucial facilities to be built? Honestly! Am sick and tired of politicians promising the sun, moon and stars during campaigns and delivering buckets of bullshit instead once they are in office! When will this whole foreplay of “I bullshit you, you bullshit me, who bullshit who” end? When will politicians realize that we don’t need to hear them blowing hot air but we need to see the work done? I believe in using my vote and make no mistake about it I will vote come the general elections in December, but am saddened when I look at my choice of candidates and realize that am not choosing a the better leader but rather the lesser of two evils.

Yet another news article informed me that Aaron Ringera believes that Kenyans will be stuck in a cycle that accelerates corruption in election campaigns unless political parties are funded directly by taxpayers. Ladies and gentlemen need I reiterate earlier sentiments? Well I will. HOGWASH!!! Why should we the hardworking wananchi be browbeaten into giving our hard-earned money to politicians so that they can rent helicopters, litter our streets with annoying flyers and print tacky t-shirts? And all this being done in the name of preventing corruption? That is worse than highway robbery! It’s being told, “You either give me you’re money or I’ll take it from you, choose!” (Sans the black mask and the barrel of a SmithWesson pointed at your temple.)

I believe it’s about time Kenyans stood up and called out our leader’s (And yet again my use of that word is extremely cynical) crap. It’s about time we just stopped listening to them and maybe, just maybe they’ll shut their traps long enough to consider what it is that we want. I realize that this stuff has all been said before but it needs to be said again and am so fed-up I’ll that I’m saying it. Call me young and green but if I ever gain audience with any of these politicians guess what word I will be chanting……………………. HOGWASH!!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Epilogue; And everything in between

Someone once said to Socrates (A famous philosopher) "Life is hard" and to that Socrates replied "Compared to what?" on the day I read that I had an epiphanic moment of sorts, I got what is commonly referred to as a paradigm shift. So here's my take on living. Life is what you make of it. I believe in causality but I also believe in determinism. It might get a little overwhelming at times but I have made up my mind that even when it does I shall take it all in stride and have a little 'positivity' jus like Stevie Wonder (I love that song by the way!) And I shall hope that each day in whatever way I'll leave a mark on someone somewhere and make their life a little better.

Part 2; love

Where oh where do I even begin?!! Love. How do I elaborate on a topic the understanding of which is so elusive??!! Ahhh, but never one to be daunted by meanings, propriety or anything of that sort, I'll give it a shot and introduce love as per the gospel of Danice, so here goes.

Love for me is the simplest and basest of things. My mothers caress, my fathers wisdom, my brothers protection, the smell of rain as it hits the earth or of freshly cut grass and a new car, peppermint tea, orchids in bloom, sitting on the rickety chair on my grandfathers porch breathing in the impossibly fresh air and looking out towards the rolling hills covered with tea (Up to date that is one of the most relaxing things to do.)

P.S If you're already bored of reading this by now, sorry coz i'll keep rambling on, so you might as well skip ahead.

Where was I, hmmm, right... Its the feeling I get after a massage or after taking a nice long hot shower, its body shop and the ecstacy it brings to my nose and senses, its the anticipation as I wait to hear from him and the smile on my face when I do or even when I think of him, its listening to music, and talking with my friends and those who understand me, its when those who care for me remember my birthday (Grin, thanx y'all and thanx facebook!!) its when sunshine hits my face on a chilly day, and its falling asleep and having sweet dreams, its curling up on the sofa with my blankie and a good book when its storming outside, watching scented candles as they burn on and on, its those moments when I laugh with glorious abandon, and watching the sunrise or set......................

It is you

It is me

It is God as He reveals Himself all around me, everyday

I could go on and on but I think it shall surmise to say, it is infinity, it is everything and nothing, and am well glad I feel it!!

To be continued...............

Of life, love and everything in between

I believe antecedence dictates that I write all this stuff about dear diary am sorry for not writing for long blah blah blah but Screw antecedence, lets get right to the nitty-gritty and the brass-tacks now shall we......

So I turned xxyrs today (Big whopdedoo! - in a wry tone) Strangely everyone else expects it to be a lot of hooplah, but I could be least bothered.
Lets face it, I woke up today at six hating all mornings, I still had to hunt for my sketchbook for half an hour (Finally found it right under my nose - don't you just hate Murphy and that bloody law of his!) gave up looking for my coloured pencils and had to buy my thousandth pack (If I buy another pack Faber Castell should make me a honorary lifetime shareholder!), enjoyed my long (Body Shop Infused!) shower (It is a personal belief of mine that the way to a mans heart may be through his stomach but the way to a womans heart is most definately through body shop!!), hurried to finish last minute assignments(If ever a pathological procrastinator existed then I am she!) went to school looking forward to my cup of peppermint tea at wings (My new addiction, which at 4 bucks a cup I might not be able to sustain it for long!) Refused to stand around and kiss the prime ministers ass (He doesnt turn my Sukuma wiki gren soooo...) and decided to sit in the courtyard and write this instead..................
Where was I going with this, urm...... Oh yeah, my point is that nothing has changed, am still the person I was yesterday and the day before that, so this year all my birthday wishes will be forwarded to my parents for they are the ones who did all the hard work (Giving birth, whooping my ass as often as was required, kissed my wounds and tucked me into bedand most importantly give me my allowance every month;@) therefore it should be Happy Birthday Mum and Dad for surviving/putting up another year with me and upholding the Darwinian Theory to the tee (Parents with less patience and tolerance would definately be baying for my blood by now had they been forced to put up with my antics for both the 19years of my life!) And Last but not least to God, for through it all I have his grace and mercies which if were exhaustible.............

Back to school

Back to school again! I really dont know whether to be happy or sad or ......... its just that those 3 words "Back to school" dont evoke as much feeling as they used to a few years back. When going back to school was the most bittersweet experience ever. It was great in that you got to meet and hang out with your pals and swap all these exciting stories about what you had been up to during the holidays (Being in an al gurls school these were definately interesting stories - wink!) and basically get back to the warm camaderie with your friends. But that was only the first night, then came the waking up at five and constant hunger (This still remains a mystery because I could eat a whole loaf at breakfast and be hungry less than four hours later!) and the writing of notes which was particularly displeasurable for me due to my short concentration span, and the rules and reading and studying and exams and lack of sleep!!!!

Now am sitting here ruminating on the fact that tomorrow marks the beggining of a new sem for me and all I can think about is that I hope I can get all my work done in time to be home for the christmas holidays. School has become just another cursory experience, not wanting to change it and yet not wanting to be part of it. Another process I must go through, like eating shitting or sleeping.

So yeah, I sit here and think to myself, "another semester begins" and nothing really shifts inside of me.


I went out sailing on Wednesday (against my better jugement given my extreme fear for large masses of cold water!!) and as we were out on the ocean, crusing across the glassy water surface, breeze on my cheeks, a spray of water lightly tickling my face, I felt something I didn't know could possibly be felt. For the first time in my life, I felt truly free. And it was exhilirating. free of any burdening thoughts, free from my worries, and all the baggage of reality that chains me just melted away, and the bliss I felt was indescribable. For those precious few I took deep breaths of the salty ocean air, filling my lungs with its freshness.................I understood how God reaveals Himself in the simplest of pleasures, making them unique experiences for those who only dare to let themselves feel it. And I must admit, it was wonderful!!


Today I read an article by Ali Mazrui on why Africa has so few female heroines, and I must say I was a little appalled. So here I am making a journal entry giving my point of view on that subject. And to understand my opinion I have to share with you afew things about me.
When I was young, I was such a tomboy (Anyone who knows my mom would be shocked at this revalation!! she is such a lady!!) . I would climb trees and play soccer (i still, have the scars!!) and thanks to the influence of my brother and his friends i'd do all this extreeeeeemly "unladylike" things. And I loved it. I loved it so much that there were times when I would be on the verge of tears cursing tha fact that I was born a girl and not a boy.
But I grew up. and slowly by slowly I started appreciating the fact that I was female, and even seeing a few advantages of this, but I was not yet fully comortable with this fact. There was still the tomboy in me. I still wore baggy clothes and listened to dre and snoopdogg and held dreams of becoming a rapper/DJ (Good Lord I cant believe am writing this in a public site!!)
However I have now grown into a woman. And I am proud to be one. I look at women throughout history and I love the fact that I am female. I look at my mother, how she walks with grace and elegance, with her held high and I see in her a strength which no man will ever posses. And am not being a feminist, I appreciate the fact that there are men on earth, and I would be lying if i said I dont appreciate their contribution to society (Lord knows they definately make good eye candy!!)
Everywhere I go, in the slums I see women who struggle and sacrifice to feed their children, never once complaining, dispite their circumstances, and I say to myself "Screw superman, These are my heroines!" I draw my inspiration from them, The countless scores of women who have significantly changed life, never seeking recognition for it, nor glory and fame. Today I pay tribute to them, to many to mention, because everyday more join their ranks. I salute them and wish them God's speed wherever they are, and send out my silent thanks, and pray that I keep their spirit burning.
I am an African woman, and I wouldn't change this for the world! And maybe, jut maybe someday I will be a heroine in my own right.

Your heart's desire

I was watching Justice League today (Am a huge fan of that cartoon by the way, actually its more of an addiction but thats a story for another day) and this bad guy had trapped superman with this plant that traps you in a virtual dimension of your hearts greatest desires. As I was watching it I thought how cool it would be to be trapped in such a fantasy life and so i started imagining what mine would be like and what i pictured was............ blank. And by blank I don't mean like fill in the details and draw your own conclusion kinda blank, i mean like nothing, empty, void, utter black, zero, zilch, nada kinda blank. And that was when I came to the startling realisation that I have no fucking idea what my hearts greatest desires are. Either that or they are so jumbled up and mixed up that I cant make head or tail of them.
I know they say that ignorance is bliss but to be ignorant to the extent of not knowing my deepest desire, thats just wrong!! Of course there's the obvious ones like I really and truly desire world peace (Seriously!!!) and all that other mumbo-jumbo, but for now I really have to work on finding out what I really really desire coz am stumped!
Do you know what your deepest desire is?? Honestly?!


So am sitted here looking for something to distract me from doin my assignments and guess what I realise........... I have a journal....YAY!! Anyhuuuuuuuuuuu, What to write, what to write, lets seeeee..... Today am goin to be abit random, am goin to write about something dear to my heart, food!! if you were one of those people whose sentenced to death and its the day of the execution and you're told to pick your last meal, anything you want, what would you pick?
The first thing that came to my mind as I thought about this was the mint mocha from wings, ave said this a thousand times and ama say it again, its simply divine!! then I thought of this rice from Rama (this faboulous Thai resturant) it's fried with chicken and cashew nuts, aaaaaaaaaaaaah, am getting hungry just thinking about it, afew more other things come to mind but for dessert what I have in mind is this choclate cake from wings, dark chochlate, tender and and........ oooh I can't talk about it, you have to have it to understand, the feeling when you have the first bite is....... nothing short of exquisite!!!
okay, time to haul my tired choclate cake craving self to get some beauty sleep..... tata!!


I've never been any good at keeping journals. Am one of those people who begins then gets distracted and can never seems to get past entry number 3 (Daddy why couldn’t you just give me the good hair genes instead of short attention span? Now am stuck with unruly hair and a severe case of ADD - Attention deficit disorder) Anyhuuuuuu, I'm sitted here by the pool at this very ungodly hour (it's some minutes to 3 in the morning - I really have to stop taking those extra strong frappucinos before bed!) and I'm thinking that I should just start another journal, after all, even though I don't jot as a routine it will be fun to look back at the stupid entries later on, like when I read the hilarious things I used to write on my childhood crushes, haha, lol!!(Cracks me up all the time)

In fact, I think I'll pick that thread of thought for this particular entry, crushes, relationships and all that gibbergabber. Well, here goes nothing.......

DISCLAIMER: Ave always been a problem maker not a problem solver so if you’re expecting this to be one of those Oyuga Pala like columns where I spout answers to all of life’s questions, think again. This is just a pensieve for all of my jumbled thoughts i form of many, many unanswered questions. Thou can proceedeth reading.........

Ok, lemme put it this way, mix big mouths, love and numerous other raw emotions, guys, gurlz and a ton of time, what do you get? (don't think with the 1+1=2 mentality) .....nope, not a script for a cheesy romance movie, uhuh, not a socially defunct 18 year old(well maybe, but not exactly) guess again...... yep you got it right, the main conversation topic and goings on in this poorly written script I proudly call my life.

What is it with me nowadays, Its like everywhere I turn people are talking about relationships, relationship drama relationship karma, relationships in summer, relationships this, relationships that!! From my friends to music to movies and tv to the net. Even when I eavesdrop on random strangers(Don't act all shocked I know you do it also) everyone is talking about their relationships - Oh yeah, with a few exceptions like when me and the guys are discussing life changing events like todays arsenal/chelsea match.

Did diversity in conversation die and get buried along with J. F. Kennedy? or has it always been this way? or maybe its just the people who I hang ou with.

Between all my friends I feel like am stuck in a bad re-run of Days of Our Lives. And to make matters worse I get to play the character who has to listen to it all. Who's just gotten a new boyfriend, who's cheating on who, who slept with who's boyfriend, who fought with who, you catch my drift? Its no wonder am exasperated enough to write a journal!

Is this what it all boils down to? Do we(read humans) survive on scandal and drama, in fact feed off it? A friend of mine the other day told me that she can't bear the thought of being alone (as in not in a relationship) and it got me to thinking, is it a basic primal instinct to be in a relationship and does this particular instinct form a suppressed but largely important cornerstone of the society we live in? Or is just an over-rated facet of our lives that will fade slowly as we age and the wrinkles set in? Or on the other hand maybe its not age-restricted and we'll be fifty and meeting for lunch to discuss whose husband is not good in bed or whose getting 70% of the assets in the divorce.

As I said before, I have lots of questions in my mind and not nearly enough answers so my journal entries might not make lots of sense.

That’s all for now, my I-pod's charge is running low and the caffeine in my system is wearing off so this confused gurl will go get some shut eye and wake up in a few hours and drag her sorry behind into a boring 3hour comm studies lecture on the morning! Damn!!



okay so the funny thing is I realised I have a blog!! after all this time posting in other fishy places which I shall not name I have decided to finally settle down and have one blog patner (Oh my goodness am going monogamous, what is this world coming toooo!!!) SO I'm gathering alllll other scattered posts and thoughts and putting them here! (Teeheehee, this is like the stage of the relationship when you move in together!!)

Disclaimer: Anyone attempting to read my posts should note that am not an amazingly witty and eloquent writer, I cannot play with words like an expert wordsmith, my mind is kinda slow and works in a twisted incoherent sequence of thought, I do not wield metaphors, vocabulary, ryhmes, hyperbole and assonance like some form of intellectual foreplay as most good writers would. I simply write what I think and feel and the most I can hope for is that there wont be any spelling mistakes

Okkkkkkkkkaaay, now that you have been officially warned let get to posting shall we!! Tralalalala, the madness has begun.......