Thursday, March 26, 2009

Streamlining world communication sytems

As humans (a.k.a. hoomiz in LOLology) we are constantly on a journey. Though this metaphor has been overused into clich├ędom and further, it still remains one of the few truisms in life. You see, no matter how much you resist the dynamism of growth, it has to happen. It is something that’s beyond our general control. If you stop growing, then that means you’re deader than Deadan Kimathi (does that sound too politically incorrect?!) in which case you have technically ceased to be human.

Personally I think I’ve come a long way from when I first got spanked. You see, at that time, when the mid-wife’s hand slapped my little pink newborn tush, I tried yelling “Lay your hand on me one more time and I’ll drop-kick you into the cramped up living quarters I just came from you gargantuan bully!!” Unfortunately the only thing those in the delivery room heard was a shrill “Ngweeeeeeeeee!” But I grew up, and slowly by slowly I gained the capacity to communicate effectively, to understand and to be understood, through speech, actions, and gestures and so on and so forth. Or so I thought…..

Somehow though, it sometimes seems that when I speak the only thing people hear is that same old “Ngweeeeeeeeeee!” And I generally tend to think its not that I don’t have good communication skills, rather than the person I’m talking to has a substandard capacity to understand. Have you ever talked to someone and felt like just shaking the shit out of them while screaming “Have you heard a single word I’ve said you thick-skulled, dimwitted, deaf, bumbling nitwit?! Am I speaking in Greek, Latin, Umpaloompa, Gibberish or some lost language?! How the fuck do I say this in friggin’ Idiot speak??!”

Don’t look at me like that, you know it’s happened to you at least once or twice! So here’s my suggestion. I think all adults who refuse to act in the capacity accorded by their substantial growth should henceforth forfeit adult status. If sex offenders have to be registered then in my not so humble opinion so should over-grown babies (commonly referred to by the term perpetual idiots). Imagine how much easier communication will be all across the world. Even world peace could be achieved! Therefore, designated registration points should be setup and the following should proceed to the afore mentioned points; politicians, rednecks, doomsayers, anyone over 21 who uses the acronym BFF like it’s in the dictionary, G W Bush, insane matatu conductors and drivers, men over 21 who think they were put on this earth to perpetuate the hiphop legends like Tupac and err… 50cent, all member of the KKK and all such like characters!!!

Soundtrack:
I can't get started - Dizzy Gillespie
Third world - Norman Brown
Breezin'- George Benson feat Al Jarreau

On my bookshelve:
The centre is black - M.G.N. Kahende

On my wall:
Starry night - Vincent van Gogh

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Formulating my Formula 1 formula;

2009 = F13


P.S: (Is it allowed to put the post script before the script itself??!) *Anyhuu, Gream, I told you you’d be the first to know :-)*


My good peoples, although I am quite sure that what I am about to blog about is pretty much useless information to most of you, kindly indulge me won’t you?! (Hehe, is it too obvious I still haven’t mastered the art of beginning a blog post?!!)


Anyhuuuu, here’s the thing. I am absolutely determined to go for 3 grand prix this year. The first one next week 5th of April in Malaysia Sepang circuit, Jamiroquai is performing at this one, the 2nd one Singapore, the only grand prix that is held at night on 27th September and the last one the Dubai grand prix in Abu Dhabi which will be the finale for the season, 1st November.


Now, all this is easier said than done. Sepang circuit will be tricky because it’s so soon and I hadn’t planned for it in terms of finances, but due to proximity to where I stay it is possible. I might not be able to get grandstand tickets but hey, as long I am somewhere where I can catch the action right?! And besides, the sun still scorches those at the grandstand the way it scorches the rest.


Singapore also shouldn’t be too hard. The tricky bit is that due to the unique nature of that particular grand prix (The fact that it is held at night) tickets get sold out really fast. This means that I can’t take my sweet time saving for tickets and what not, I need to have booked and purchased my ticket by July, especially if I want to get into the grandstand for this one. Another problem is that so far I’m the only person I know who’s keen on spending a tiny fortune just to catch the F1. If I travel alone, that means it will be more costly in terms of travel and accommodation. Plus catching all the action and getting pissed afterwards all alone is really not too much fun.


Now the Abu Dhabi one is where the real challenge comes. I plan on getting a transit visa on my flight back home. Getting the transit visa is hard enough as it is. Plus I already have a Qatar airways ticket which transits in Doha so I need to figure out a way around that because I don’t plan on getting another ticket. Also, because this is the season finale, grand prix tickets get sold out faster than a drunk can piss on himself.


Haidhuru, where there’s a will there is a way and no matter how bad I am at math this is one equation I am determined to get right! Any contributions towards Loco’s F1 2009 agenda will be highly appreciated, and funds can be given by cash, cheque, IOU’s and food because I will be broke most of the year! *Insert cute little pleading face here*


Soundtrack:

Get into my groove – Incognito feat Jamiroquai

Who knows – Acoustic Alchemy

The way you move – Earth, Wind and Fire feat Kenny G


On the bookshelve:

Home and exile – Chinua Achebe


On my wall:

Virtuvian Man – Leonardo da Vinci