As humans (a.k.a. hoomiz in LOLology) we are constantly on a journey. Though this metaphor has been overused into clichédom and further, it still remains one of the few truisms in life. You see, no matter how much you resist the dynamism of growth, it has to happen. It is something that’s beyond our general control. If you stop growing, then that means you’re deader than Deadan Kimathi (does that sound too politically incorrect?!) in which case you have technically ceased to be human.
Personally I think I’ve come a long way from when I first got spanked. You see, at that time, when the mid-wife’s hand slapped my little pink newborn tush, I tried yelling “Lay your hand on me one more time and I’ll drop-kick you into the cramped up living quarters I just came from you gargantuan bully!!” Unfortunately the only thing those in the delivery room heard was a shrill “Ngweeeeeeeeee!” But I grew up, and slowly by slowly I gained the capacity to communicate effectively, to understand and to be understood, through speech, actions, and gestures and so on and so forth. Or so I thought…..
Somehow though, it sometimes seems that when I speak the only thing people hear is that same old “Ngweeeeeeeeeee!” And I generally tend to think its not that I don’t have good communication skills, rather than the person I’m talking to has a substandard capacity to understand. Have you ever talked to someone and felt like just shaking the shit out of them while screaming “Have you heard a single word I’ve said you thick-skulled, dimwitted, deaf, bumbling nitwit?! Am I speaking in Greek, Latin, Umpaloompa, Gibberish or some lost language?! How the fuck do I say this in friggin’ Idiot speak??!”
Don’t look at me like that, you know it’s happened to you at least once or twice! So here’s my suggestion. I think all adults who refuse to act in the capacity accorded by their substantial growth should henceforth forfeit adult status. If sex offenders have to be registered then in my not so humble opinion so should over-grown babies (commonly referred to by the term perpetual idiots). Imagine how much easier communication will be all across the world. Even world peace could be achieved! Therefore, designated registration points should be setup and the following should proceed to the afore mentioned points; politicians, rednecks, doomsayers, anyone over 21 who uses the acronym BFF like it’s in the dictionary, G W Bush, insane matatu conductors and drivers, men over 21 who think they were put on this earth to perpetuate the hiphop legends like Tupac and err… 50cent, all member of the KKK and all such like characters!!!
I can't get started - Dizzy Gillespie
Third world - Norman Brown
Breezin'- George Benson feat Al Jarreau
On my bookshelve:
The centre is black - M.G.N. Kahende
On my wall:
Starry night - Vincent van Gogh