Dudes and dudettes!! It's been a while since I went drinking, actually, It's been quite a while since I got drunk and did s'mn stooopid!! Well, Tonight I did and now I am!!! So here's my 1.2.3. about being inebriated! When you attempt to prove your stamina by taking in copious amounts of alcohol and getting pretty much shitfaced, please remember the following:
- Ladies, the hot guy you're grinding up on won't be as hot when you wake up next to him tomorrow morning. DUHHH!
- Ladies (again) you don't look prettier when you're drunk, you only look prettier when THEY are drunk!
- Ladies (Ok, fuck it, I'm a female so most of this post is going to be pretty much Lady oriented!!) If you couldn't do the make-up right when you were sober then don't think you can do it right when you're wasted!! Yep, I hate to break it to ya, but they pretty much fucked you over when they made the mascara a wand and the eye pencil a pencil! Same case applies to dancing, sexy poses and such like!
- Gents the aforementioned procedures (applying make-up *If that's your thing*, dancing, looking sexy and PICK-UP LINES!!!) apply to you too!!
- Drive when drunk!! (Trust me on this, those EABL adverts aren't pure bullshit, you WILL end up over a pavement *Ask me* or running into your best friend's bumper *Ask Des* I shit you not)
- Drink if you haven't eaten (Cardinal drinking rule #1)
- Mix your drinks, Beer is beer,whiskey is whiskey, wine is wine and so on and so forth (cardinal rule #2: If you do the results could be visibly disastrous - Yes, you'll puke your bloody guts out!!!)
- Hit on that hunk or hottie when you're smashed, you'll look like an utter idiot (Even though you probably are, we don't want that fact out there in the open, do we?)
- Send your Ex/ Current/ Could be/ Would be/ Shoulda been boyfriend/ girlfriend a text message. And no, you are not allowed to call them either!
-Blog when you're utterly pissed (You'll end up sounding somewhat like I do now and I'm pretty sure that's not what you want)
- Head straight home after your umpteenth glass of potent shit. You'll be glad you woke up in your own bed the next morning (Puke filled sheets notwithstanding!!)
- Blame it on the alcohol the next morning *Like I will tomorrow morning*
Happiness - Dead prez
Because I got high - Afroman
On and On - Erykah Badu
On my bookshelve:
On my wall:
Some funky Afro-painting from Tazama Gallery with no name