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I've never been any good at keeping journals. Am one of those people who begins then gets distracted and can never seems to get past entry number 3 (Daddy why couldn’t you just give me the good hair genes instead of short attention span? Now am stuck with unruly hair and a severe case of ADD - Attention deficit disorder) Anyhuuuuuu, I'm sitted here by the pool at this very ungodly hour (it's some minutes to 3 in the morning - I really have to stop taking those extra strong frappucinos before bed!) and I'm thinking that I should just start another journal, after all, even though I don't jot as a routine it will be fun to look back at the stupid entries later on, like when I read the hilarious things I used to write on my childhood crushes, haha, lol!!(Cracks me up all the time)

In fact, I think I'll pick that thread of thought for this particular entry, crushes, relationships and all that gibbergabber. Well, here goes nothing.......

DISCLAIMER: Ave always been a problem maker not a problem solver so if you’re expecting this to be one of those Oyuga Pala like columns where I spout answers to all of life’s questions, think again. This is just a pensieve for all of my jumbled thoughts i form of many, many unanswered questions. Thou can proceedeth reading.........

Ok, lemme put it this way, mix big mouths, love and numerous other raw emotions, guys, gurlz and a ton of time, what do you get? (don't think with the 1+1=2 mentality) .....nope, not a script for a cheesy romance movie, uhuh, not a socially defunct 18 year old(well maybe, but not exactly) guess again...... yep you got it right, the main conversation topic and goings on in this poorly written script I proudly call my life.

What is it with me nowadays, Its like everywhere I turn people are talking about relationships, relationship drama relationship karma, relationships in summer, relationships this, relationships that!! From my friends to music to movies and tv to the net. Even when I eavesdrop on random strangers(Don't act all shocked I know you do it also) everyone is talking about their relationships - Oh yeah, with a few exceptions like when me and the guys are discussing life changing events like todays arsenal/chelsea match.

Did diversity in conversation die and get buried along with J. F. Kennedy? or has it always been this way? or maybe its just the people who I hang ou with.

Between all my friends I feel like am stuck in a bad re-run of Days of Our Lives. And to make matters worse I get to play the character who has to listen to it all. Who's just gotten a new boyfriend, who's cheating on who, who slept with who's boyfriend, who fought with who, you catch my drift? Its no wonder am exasperated enough to write a journal!

Is this what it all boils down to? Do we(read humans) survive on scandal and drama, in fact feed off it? A friend of mine the other day told me that she can't bear the thought of being alone (as in not in a relationship) and it got me to thinking, is it a basic primal instinct to be in a relationship and does this particular instinct form a suppressed but largely important cornerstone of the society we live in? Or is just an over-rated facet of our lives that will fade slowly as we age and the wrinkles set in? Or on the other hand maybe its not age-restricted and we'll be fifty and meeting for lunch to discuss whose husband is not good in bed or whose getting 70% of the assets in the divorce.

As I said before, I have lots of questions in my mind and not nearly enough answers so my journal entries might not make lots of sense.

That’s all for now, my I-pod's charge is running low and the caffeine in my system is wearing off so this confused gurl will go get some shut eye and wake up in a few hours and drag her sorry behind into a boring 3hour comm studies lecture on the morning! Damn!!

CHIARZ!!