FREEEEE

I went out sailing on Wednesday (against my better jugement given my extreme fear for large masses of cold water!!) and as we were out on the ocean, crusing across the glassy water surface, breeze on my cheeks, a spray of water lightly tickling my face, I felt something I didn't know could possibly be felt. For the first time in my life, I felt truly free. And it was exhilirating. free of any burdening thoughts, free from my worries, and all the baggage of reality that chains me just melted away, and the bliss I felt was indescribable. For those precious few moments.................as I took deep breaths of the salty ocean air, filling my lungs with its freshness.................I understood how God reaveals Himself in the simplest of pleasures, making them unique experiences for those who only dare to let themselves feel it. And I must admit, it was wonderful!!

PROUD TO BE AN AFRICAN WOMAN

Today I read an article by Ali Mazrui on why Africa has so few female heroines, and I must say I was a little appalled. So here I am making a journal entry giving my point of view on that subject. And to understand my opinion I have to share with you afew things about me.
When I was young, I was such a tomboy (Anyone who knows my mom would be shocked at this revalation!! she is such a lady!!) . I would climb trees and play soccer (i still, have the scars!!) and thanks to the influence of my brother and his friends i'd do all this extreeeeeemly "unladylike" things. And I loved it. I loved it so much that there were times when I would be on the verge of tears cursing tha fact that I was born a girl and not a boy.
But I grew up. and slowly by slowly I started appreciating the fact that I was female, and even seeing a few advantages of this, but I was not yet fully comortable with this fact. There was still the tomboy in me. I still wore baggy clothes and listened to dre and snoopdogg and held dreams of becoming a rapper/DJ (Good Lord I cant believe am writing this in a public site!!)
However I have now grown into a woman. And I am proud to be one. I look at women throughout history and I love the fact that I am female. I look at my mother, how she walks with grace and elegance, with her held high and I see in her a strength which no man will ever posses. And am not being a feminist, I appreciate the fact that there are men on earth, and I would be lying if i said I dont appreciate their contribution to society (Lord knows they definately make good eye candy!!)
Everywhere I go, in the slums I see women who struggle and sacrifice to feed their children, never once complaining, dispite their circumstances, and I say to myself "Screw superman, These are my heroines!" I draw my inspiration from them, The countless scores of women who have significantly changed life, never seeking recognition for it, nor glory and fame. Today I pay tribute to them, to many to mention, because everyday more join their ranks. I salute them and wish them God's speed wherever they are, and send out my silent thanks, and pray that I keep their spirit burning.
I am an African woman, and I wouldn't change this for the world! And maybe, jut maybe someday I will be a heroine in my own right.

Your heart's desire

I was watching Justice League today (Am a huge fan of that cartoon by the way, actually its more of an addiction but thats a story for another day) and this bad guy had trapped superman with this plant that traps you in a virtual dimension of your hearts greatest desires. As I was watching it I thought how cool it would be to be trapped in such a fantasy life and so i started imagining what mine would be like and what i pictured was............ blank. And by blank I don't mean like fill in the details and draw your own conclusion kinda blank, i mean like nothing, empty, void, utter black, zero, zilch, nada kinda blank. And that was when I came to the startling realisation that I have no fucking idea what my hearts greatest desires are. Either that or they are so jumbled up and mixed up that I cant make head or tail of them.
I know they say that ignorance is bliss but to be ignorant to the extent of not knowing my deepest desire, thats just wrong!! Of course there's the obvious ones like I really and truly desire world peace (Seriously!!!) and all that other mumbo-jumbo, but for now I really have to work on finding out what I really really desire coz am stumped!
Do you know what your deepest desire is?? Honestly?!

Yadiyadayadida

So am sitted here looking for something to distract me from doin my assignments and guess what I realise........... I have a journal....YAY!! Anyhuuuuuuuuuuu, What to write, what to write, lets seeeee..... Today am goin to be abit random, am goin to write about something dear to my heart, food!! if you were one of those people whose sentenced to death and its the day of the execution and you're told to pick your last meal, anything you want, what would you pick?
The first thing that came to my mind as I thought about this was the mint mocha from wings, ave said this a thousand times and ama say it again, its simply divine!! then I thought of this rice from Rama (this faboulous Thai resturant) it's fried with chicken and cashew nuts, aaaaaaaaaaaaah, am getting hungry just thinking about it, afew more other things come to mind but for dessert what I have in mind is this choclate cake from wings, dark chochlate, tender and and........ oooh I can't talk about it, you have to have it to understand, the feeling when you have the first bite is....... nothing short of exquisite!!!
okay, time to haul my tired choclate cake craving self to get some beauty sleep..... tata!!

????

I've never been any good at keeping journals. Am one of those people who begins then gets distracted and can never seems to get past entry number 3 (Daddy why couldn’t you just give me the good hair genes instead of short attention span? Now am stuck with unruly hair and a severe case of ADD - Attention deficit disorder) Anyhuuuuuu, I'm sitted here by the pool at this very ungodly hour (it's some minutes to 3 in the morning - I really have to stop taking those extra strong frappucinos before bed!) and I'm thinking that I should just start another journal, after all, even though I don't jot as a routine it will be fun to look back at the stupid entries later on, like when I read the hilarious things I used to write on my childhood crushes, haha, lol!!(Cracks me up all the time)

In fact, I think I'll pick that thread of thought for this particular entry, crushes, relationships and all that gibbergabber. Well, here goes nothing.......

DISCLAIMER: Ave always been a problem maker not a problem solver so if you’re expecting this to be one of those Oyuga Pala like columns where I spout answers to all of life’s questions, think again. This is just a pensieve for all of my jumbled thoughts i form of many, many unanswered questions. Thou can proceedeth reading.........

Ok, lemme put it this way, mix big mouths, love and numerous other raw emotions, guys, gurlz and a ton of time, what do you get? (don't think with the 1+1=2 mentality) .....nope, not a script for a cheesy romance movie, uhuh, not a socially defunct 18 year old(well maybe, but not exactly) guess again...... yep you got it right, the main conversation topic and goings on in this poorly written script I proudly call my life.

What is it with me nowadays, Its like everywhere I turn people are talking about relationships, relationship drama relationship karma, relationships in summer, relationships this, relationships that!! From my friends to music to movies and tv to the net. Even when I eavesdrop on random strangers(Don't act all shocked I know you do it also) everyone is talking about their relationships - Oh yeah, with a few exceptions like when me and the guys are discussing life changing events like todays arsenal/chelsea match.

Did diversity in conversation die and get buried along with J. F. Kennedy? or has it always been this way? or maybe its just the people who I hang ou with.

Between all my friends I feel like am stuck in a bad re-run of Days of Our Lives. And to make matters worse I get to play the character who has to listen to it all. Who's just gotten a new boyfriend, who's cheating on who, who slept with who's boyfriend, who fought with who, you catch my drift? Its no wonder am exasperated enough to write a journal!

Is this what it all boils down to? Do we(read humans) survive on scandal and drama, in fact feed off it? A friend of mine the other day told me that she can't bear the thought of being alone (as in not in a relationship) and it got me to thinking, is it a basic primal instinct to be in a relationship and does this particular instinct form a suppressed but largely important cornerstone of the society we live in? Or is just an over-rated facet of our lives that will fade slowly as we age and the wrinkles set in? Or on the other hand maybe its not age-restricted and we'll be fifty and meeting for lunch to discuss whose husband is not good in bed or whose getting 70% of the assets in the divorce.

As I said before, I have lots of questions in my mind and not nearly enough answers so my journal entries might not make lots of sense.

That’s all for now, my I-pod's charge is running low and the caffeine in my system is wearing off so this confused gurl will go get some shut eye and wake up in a few hours and drag her sorry behind into a boring 3hour comm studies lecture on the morning! Damn!!

CHIARZ!!

OKAY AM HERE TO STAY NOW< SERIOUSLY LAH!!

okay so the funny thing is I realised I have a blog!! after all this time posting in other fishy places which I shall not name I have decided to finally settle down and have one blog patner (Oh my goodness am going monogamous, what is this world coming toooo!!!) SO I'm gathering alllll other scattered posts and thoughts and putting them here! (Teeheehee, this is like the stage of the relationship when you move in together!!)

Disclaimer: Anyone attempting to read my posts should note that am not an amazingly witty and eloquent writer, I cannot play with words like an expert wordsmith, my mind is kinda slow and works in a twisted incoherent sequence of thought, I do not wield metaphors, vocabulary, ryhmes, hyperbole and assonance like some form of intellectual foreplay as most good writers would. I simply write what I think and feel and the most I can hope for is that there wont be any spelling mistakes

Okkkkkkkkkaaay, now that you have been officially warned let get to posting shall we!! Tralalalala, the madness has begun.......

FREEDOM!!!

Am freeeeeeeeeeeeee. Am done with my semester, and good riddance too. No more Struggling to think of excuses to give my lecturers pertaining to why I missed class. No more feeling that twinge of guilt when I sleep till 2.00 and miss a lecture. And best of all no more struggling to catch up with a shitload of assignments that can drive someone up the figurative wall. What do I get in exchange, unlimited access to sleep.com. Yep, I can sleep as much as I want. I finally get to go swimming at whatever time I want, no more staring at people from my balcony and wishing it was me!!! I get to watch astro all day long (Gots ta pay the bill first but thats trivial) And I dont have any excuse for not hitting the gym now so I guess thats on the agenda as well as lots n lots a bloggin'! Don't worry dear page I shall ignore you no longer (This said very dramatically!!) Anyhu, to my first agenda, I shall now proceed to sleep for 24 hours straight and dream of eating lots of eggs benedict and drinking lotsa mint mocha
Ciao..... for now