Ahem, attention ladies and gentlemen, could those of you with straying minds please report to aisle number one for a dose of ‘get your mind out of the gutter!!’ Sex talk shall come later when I am having coffee and cake at secret recipe with my gurls :-p As far as the title goes I refer to the colourful names given to alcoholic cocktails.
We often joke about these names but it was only sometime back I realised what a powerful marketing tool they are. A friend of mine (I shall give him the cliché pseudonym X) and I were discussing cocktails and he was regaling me with the tale of his first encounter with the ‘blowjob’.
Said friend X and his friends had gone out for their normal Friday night ka-round of drinks, soccer conversation and whatever else men do on their Friday night kamkunjis. Now as it just so happened, that night the bar they went to was having a promotion of the cocktail ‘blowjob’ which X had never heard of before. So you can imagine how pleasantly surprised X was when a curvaceous promotion lady wearing a tightly fitting boob tube and a barely there skirt approached him and offered a blowjob.
According to X the conversation went something like this;
Lady: Would you be interested in a blowjob?
X: (Incredulous look on his face) A what??!!
Lady: A blowjob sir, would you like to get a blowjob?
X: (Marvelling at how pleasantly open-minded women at this establishment were) Urm, sure. Why the hell not....
Lady: Okaaay, that will be 5rand sir, how many would you like?
X: (Gleefully analysing the contents of his wallet) I’ll give you 20rand if you make them good!
Lady: Don’t worry sir, only the best!
Of course X (and urm... X junior) was thoroughly disappointed when he parted with his 20rand and was left with 4 glasses of layered coffee liquor instead of....
But the thing is, the name went a long way in promoting the drink. It goes without saying, that men would naturally not turn down blowjobs or slippery nipples be they sexual or otherwise, and women live vicariously through drinking sex on the beach instead of... err... having it!
The names of these cocktails represent a lifestyle we secretly want to live, and for the most part don’t. No matter how disappointing the contents, we will drink a cocktail because of its fancy name. Women wanting to come off as sophisticated and worldly will gulp down cosmos because it makes them feel like part of the cast of sex and the city. Tourists will generously imbibe bahama mamas, mojitos and tropical teasers because these represent the exotic quality they seek.
As for me..... Hehe! Next time you see me in the club you’ll know my poison!!